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dreamer disease

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when? [May. 12th, 2012|10:46 pm]
dreamer disease
[Current Mood |crushedcrushed]
[Current Music |Christina Perri - The Lonely]

when did I decide to start settling instead of continuing to reach?
when was it that I started to get stuck in this rut instead of moving forward?
when is it that my own happiness became dependent on another human being and not created through me?

as I sit here as one stage of my life ends, 6 years of my life that has seen more heartbreak and happiness. more heights and stumbles than I had ever know that I almost have become ashamed of what I have become..

where is that girl that fought every day to get out of bed when she wasn't sure where that ground was to put her feet?
when did I become this shadow of a girl? I used to be so strong, the end of something was only the beginning to something else.

I want to be in love with myself like I was. I need time and new eyes, air in my lungs and salt on my lips.
All of a sudden I felt like I can't breathe as I realize just how pathetic I have become..

" I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most; I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well. "